I can hardly believe that Unleashed is a year old already. This milestone feels probably as close to having a child as I’ll ever get. When I committed to this column, I didn’t truly feel ready—but then again, who is ever really prepared to start something entirely new? I nurtured each article, every word, with the care of a first-time mother. I met my deadlines with the resolve and dedication of a parent attending recitals and soccer games, come rain or shine. And with every piece published, our readership expanded, and the column grew, with me evolving right alongside it.
Now, as I sit to pen this anniversary edition of Unleashed, reflecting over the past year and 26 articles birthed within it, I am amazed with the dialogues opened, the controversies tackled, and the community that has gathered around these words. The whole purpose of the column was to face fears, find freedom, and harness the formidable force within each of us. Through sharing stories and musings on universal themes grounded in the Armenian experience, Unleashed has aimed to reach across all cultures and walks of life, inviting everyone to celebrate the indomitable human spirit and the transmuting power of overcoming adversity.
Just as it’s nearly impossible for a parent to pick a favorite child, it’s tough to single out my favorite pieces. However, a few do stand out. “Wake, Dragon,” my inaugural edition, holds a very special place in my heart, much like a first-born. It was a bold beginning, a statement of intent, and it set the tone for everything that followed. Then there’s “Noli Me Tangere,” an article about the tattoo I wear like armor. Surprisingly, it has garnered a colossal amount of hits, becoming a significant touchpoint in the digital landscape, appearing as one of the first results when searched on Google.
I relished in writing “Home/Land” and “On Matriotism,” among my Armenia-heavy pieces through which I wax poetic about my fervent love for this country. I was seriously amused when I learned that “Love and Let Love” led to me being dubbed “Garo Paylan’s Lesbian Cousin.” It’s comical, and admittedly a bit patronizing, to be so regularly identified as someone’s cousin—or on occasion, mistakenly, as his wife, which I guess makes me a bad lesbian. Then there’s “Less Is More,” an ode to my father, which brought us closer together as he was deeply touched by my depiction and recollection of him when he read it.
Every piece I’ve written holds something special—it would take too long to go through all of them—and with every piece I write, I give a piece of myself. But in “Let There Be Dark” I went furthest, sharing something I would normally keep hidden. This article was my most revealing yet, laying myself bare in a way I typically avoid, all while trusting in the supportive and positive feedback that has truly strengthened our bond over this past year.
The added touch of giving personal readings brought an unexpected layer to this experience. It took a while for me to get comfortable with the sound of my own voice, digging my fingernails into my hands while wringing them together in the studio to hold back the terror—and on occasion the tears—when recording. Most memorable was reading through “Beirut, Mon Amour,” which required several retakes as I broke down sobbing repeatedly, struggling to express the heartbreaking love I had developed for Lebanon.
Writing is as exhilarating as it is excruciating. Writer’s block is real—it feels like choking, like paralysis—and when it comes, the world stands still, frozen like in the movies where the protagonist wanders through scenes where everyone else is paused in time. Then there’s the omnipresent shadow of imposter syndrome which has yet to subside, fueling a pre-release anxiety that whispers, every second Monday, “This might just be the piece that gets you fired or canceled.”
Which is why your engagement and feedback have been so invaluable, shaping this column into a haven for those who dare to speak, challenge, and change. As I touched on in “Free Your Mind”, it’s only by fully expressing ourselves that we can reach our most authentic selves, turning vulnerability into strength.
As the Year of the Dragon ends, we now enter the Year of the Snake, a symbol of wisdom and flexibility in Chinese astrology. Often associated with qualities of intuition, introspection, and refinement, the Snake year encourages us to approach life with a more calculated and thoughtful demeanor. It’s a time to shed old skins and embrace new growth, much like the snake itself, embodying rebirth and renewal. This year invites us to be more perceptive and considerate in our actions, promising progress through careful planning and deliberate decisions.
Bearing that in mind, and with all the love from the bottom of my heart, here’s to another year of being fearless, mindful, and, most importantly, unleashed.
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Sheila Paylan is an international human rights lawyer and former legal advisor to the United Nations. Now based in Yerevan, she regularly consults for a variety of international organizations, NGOs, think tanks, and governments.
